Tummy Tuesday - 33 Weeks

7 weeks to go!
Weight gain: 20 pounds
Tummy girth: 45 inches (right at belly button)

And I'm still packing on the pounds! I've reached that point in the pregnancy. You know the one. It's where you tell people how many more weeks you have, and even though they try really hard to hide it, you can't help but notice the look of terror that passes over their face. It's the look that says, "Dear God, she's actually going to get bigger?!" The look that says, "She's carrying twins, right? Right?!"

I'll work on getting some photos posted so you too can stare in shock and amazement at my gigantic belly.

It's also the point in the pregnancy where I feel like I'm done. I realize the calendar doesn't agree with me, but that doesn't matter. Because I'm done with being pregnant. I told a woman yesterday that I had, "a few more weeks, well, seven actually." She laughed and said, "A few is more like 2 or 3 weeks, but you tell yourself whatever you need to to cope!" She has a newborn so she understands.

In other parenting news, Monkey Man took Quake to school for the first time today. So it's after 9:30, and I'm still in my pjs. I'm not a morning person; I love a nice slow start to my day...

Officially Just a Chaffeur

I lolled about in bed this morning enjoying my cuddle time with preschooler and husband because I assumed the husband would be taking the preschooler to school. He told me yesterday that he'd arranged his schedule to be pretty much 9 - 4 all this week. Apparently in my overwhelming sense of relief and hope I missed him saying, "Except on Monday morning." When I hurried out of bed, cursing the fact that I was now late, he told me I had plenty of time. Because getting Q and myself ready and off to school all by myself for the last two weeks hasn't taught me how much time I need for these activities.

After assuring Q that I would watch him for a few minutes before leaving (he requests this every school morning), I was refused a hug and kiss. Is he really already old enough to not want a display of affection from his momma at school? I thought I had at least another 6 or 7 years! But my heartbreak wasn't over - turns out all my kisses are yucky all the time now. Haven't had a preschooler kiss since lolling in bed this morning...

Took the dog to the vet today. She has some sort of infection in one of her ears that may or may not be related to allergies. When looking up "timid" in the dictionary, you will find a picture of our dog. She is afraid of just about everything. When we walked in the door, she had her tail tucked so far under her butt, she almost couldn't walk. Then she proceeded to shed enough hair to fur a chihuahua. And not one of those tiny ones. At least she doesn't pee when she's terrified - but that's only because she has some sort of OCD thing about not letting anyone see her pee. Or poop. And she'd really rather you pretended you couldn't see her eating, thank you very much.

I guess it all boils down to life returning pretty much to normal around here.

Cooler Days

I spent the early part of last week pretending the weather had changed, but I don't have to pretend anymore. We kept the windows open most of the day, and it was really quite nice. Fresh air is always so welcome after the long summer months of suffocating heat.

I sense lots of oatmeal in my future. Is it wrong to be so excited about oatmeal? It strikes me as a little strange. Maybe it's a pregnancy thing. Or an I-take-so-much-iron-I-can't-have-a-normal-movement thing.

Boy, I overshare one time and suddenly it seems perfectly natural to discuss my potty issues. Let's just say that I've come to view popcorn consumption as "preventative medicine".

Monkey Man made it home, by the way. He even seems to be re-adjusting to the time zone amazingly well. Perhaps he replaced himself with a robot model while in Asia? I'm more exhausted than he is. The dog is mad because she's back to spending her nights in her kennel, but I swear my cats are happy to see him. They're happy to see the man who said we'd never live together until I got rid of my cats. The man who curses them and kicks them off the bed. The man who has threatened to "accidentally" leave the front door open so they can "accidentally" get lost or run over.

See? Having cats is a lot like having kids - no appreciation. I love them, but they can really piss me off sometimes.

The Final Countdown

The Endurance Test is now being measured in hours instead of days! I got a call from Monkey Man last night just after 9; he was at the airport and turning in his rented phone (his doesn't work in Japan). I expect him to be pulling into the garage within the next 10 hours!

Last week went pretty well, but we just survived this week. Quake threw tantrums left and right, and I was just desperate to get some sleep and a few moments away from him. Have you ever spent 13 days with another human being 24/7? And of course if I'd been with another adult I could have stolen some moments for myself by going grocery shopping or taking an extra long time in the bathroom, but that's not an option with a preschooler. I locked the bathroom door yesterday, and you would have thought he was being beaten by the sound of him screaming when he couldn't get in. Not exactly the quiet moment alone that I was hoping for.

On the subject of my other child - I have started to swell up like a ballpark frank. My toes and feet look like little sausages, and I swear I'm developing cankles. I never retained water with my first pregnancy so I'm unprepared. And it brings on a strange dilemma. I want to kick back and keep my feet up in a desperate attempt to retain some shape to my legs. I also want to stay as forward as possible, even hanging out on my hands and knees periodically, to encourage the baby to be in the correct birthing position (Q's posterier position contributed to some of my problems laboring). Maybe I'll just concentrate on eating massive amounts of watermelon (it's supposed to be a diruetic)...

If You're Afraid Of TMI - Stop Reading!

I've been debating with myself (as there are no other adults in the house) since Monday night about sharing a certain story here. It's kind of creepy, icky, and embarrassing so it's perfect for a blog! But then there's the creepy, icky, embarrassing thing, and oh, what the hell. The three or four of you who read this regularly will hopefully be amused and not offended...

I had a growth. On my girly parts.

About the time I got pregnant I noticed what seemed to be a larger-than-normal skin tag sort of thing on my...things. When I had my pelvic, the midwife took a look at it and said, "Yep, looks like a skin tag gone a little wild." She said not to worry about it.

A few months pass and my body becomes a seething mass of all sorts of hormonal madness. What with the constant vomiting and all, I failed to keep track of my little tag for awhile. One day I look down, and I swear the thing had started taking steroids. Which considering the amount of hormonal chaos in my body, it pretty much had.

And just because you know this story isn't complete without this sort of detail - the growth never really got thicker, just longer. It never got quite as thick as a pencil, but it did manage to stretch about 2 inches. Monkey Man started threatening to name it. I told him that all the testosterone in the house was causing me to grow my own damn penis. I was actually thankful when my belly got too big to see around - as long as I didn't have my glasses on when I looked in the mirror, I could contentedly pretend it wasn't there! I even refused to trim on the very sound basis that it would just make the thing look bigger.

Cut to my prenatal visit on Monday night. I ask the midwife (a different one) to take a look at my soon-to-be-named growth and let me know if there's anything that can be done before the baby comes. Anything. Please. She tells me she removed a similar "polyp" (can we stick with growth because that really sounds icky) from another patient just a week prior and offers to snip snip right then and there.

And while the sound of scissors clipping away in the numbed vicinity of my most treasured body parts was just a wee bit disconcerting, I am now happily growth free. Happy but just a tad uncomfortable; it's a little ouchy when I change positions and the underwear rubs against the snipped part. They are sending the thing to pathology just to be safe, but all the medical types seem to be in agreement that it's just one of those weird but harmless, you know, things.

And as long as I'm oversharing, here's a thought - the growth was bald (pretty much a miracle in itself since Monkey Man isn't the only furball in the house). I wonder if I'll have a bald spot after it heals up...

Tummy Tuesday - 32 Weeks

8 weeks to go!
Weight gain: 18 pounds
Tummy girth: 44 inches (right at belly button)

Whoa, starting to pack on the pounds! I've got that problem where I'm looking for something specific to eat, but I don't know what it is. I end up eating lots of things that aren't quite what I want, and since the craving isn't satisfied, I try something else. Perhaps I should not do so much of that. What could it be that I'm craving?

The Endurance Test is going well although I found out on Sat that it's 13 days, not 12. Monkey Man won't be home until Saturday. Which I can clearly see on my calendar at this very moment, but apparently I wanted to believe he'd be home Friday.

I woke up Sunday anticipating feeling much better because Quake seemed to be feeling better. I was so disappointed at waking up feeling worse that I proceeded to break down completely. But sobbing in anger and frustration and exhaustion seems to propel me to do housework so at least the dishes got done.

I still feel crappy physically, but I've recovered emotionally. What other option is there? Becoming a parent severely limits one's options in more ways than one. I've harbored a lot of anger at my mother over the years because of her frightening ability to always get it all done. I felt I could never live up to the example that she set. And really? I can't. But I am starting to appreciate her attempts to toughen me up; those lessons are finally coming in handy. It also makes me wonder if her lack of warmth is just her sucking it up and powering through. Life never really lets us stop learning, does it?

Silly Names

Along the lines of naming, I stumbled across this on the internet yesterday...

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Juliet Vue

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Sweet Cream Meringue

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
L-Atch (went with the (not official) married name because I liked it better)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Magenta Tiger

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Elaine San Antonio

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Ste-Le

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Blue Martini

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Jack Richard

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Shalimar Truffle

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Jean Alford (no seriously, that’s his middle name)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Hoile Hannover (I think that was her name anyway...)

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Autumn Gerber

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Raspberry Shorty

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Sherbet Willow

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Scrappin’ Monsoon Tour

What Is In A Name?

I think the only bad part of having another boy is knowing I'll never be able to use any of the girl names that I picked out. Those names have all moved into the fantasy realm for me. Maybe if I actually starting, you know, writing the stories that I compose in my head, I could use some of them as character names.

An idea that got me thinking...if you could rename yourself, what name would you pick?

I've always liked my first name. It's quite pretty, and, at least when and where I grew up, it was also unusual. Unusual seemed to fit me well, but as I got older it sometimes struck me as too...pretty, soft, feminine.

I developed a fantasy name for myself as early as junior high; I had a secret desire to be called by my last name. It probably started because that's what my much admired older brother was called by his friends. Even today my internal voice calls me this, and I often indulge the fantasy by giving this name at restaurants and coffee shops.

The irony of course is that all the baby girl names I picked out were unabashedly feminine. I'm particularly fond of the fusty old grandma names. But when I started to think about renaming myself, I couldn't imagine any of these refering to me. Instead I'd want to be a Kennedy or a Davis or a Bennett - something masculine and last-namish. I'm sure this preference speaks volumes about my gender identity issues!

What about you? What name would you choose for yourself if you could? Do you think that choice says something about your personality?

Cooler Days...Next Month?

Ah, it's finally getting cool enough to have oatmeal for breakfast. Um, yeah, not really. But it makes me feel better to pretend.

Despite having a cold, Q and I are slogging through the Endurance Test quite well. We even spent quality time at the golf course yesterday. Only 7 more days to go! Riddle me this - the preschooler goes to school; he gets exposed to all the germs first hand. He gets a little cough; I get a full blown cold. Explain.

Monkey Man keeps telling me it's allergies. I keep telling him that I don't have allergies.

We risked exposing other moms and kiddos to a possible cold though to attend our usual Friday playgroup. I wouldn't have been able to handle another day alone with the boy. He's utterly delightful and utterly exhausting. Now if I could just figure out what to do with him on Monday night (prenatal class) and Tuesday night (parent-teacher meetings at school) since my babysitter is busy with cross-country practice and homework and you know, being a teenager. Damn her.

Tummy Tuesday - 31 Weeks

9 weeks to go!
Weight gain: 16 pounds
Tummy girth: 44 inches (right at belly button)

Well at least the measurements fit how I feel this week - enormous. We're talking beached whale proportions. All but one or two of my maternity shirts are already starting to ride up in front. At this rate, within the next few weeks my buddha will be hanging out for everyone to see. I've also managed to pull out most of the stitching on one of my smocked shirts. Because while the belly is the most obvious and frighteningly huge thing about me, my boobs are getting completely out of control as well.

My need for the joy that is Dr Magic has diminished - I didn't go at all last week, and the hips still feel good. I have been dealing with some pretty intense round ligament pain on my right side that I think started because of twisting around in the car to talk to or hand stuff to my preschooler. Maybe I should stop doing that.

Quake and I are doing pretty well on our second day of the Endurance Test. The dishes need to get gone and I'm pretty sure we'll be eating mostly frozen pizza and McDonald's for the next week, but I did manage to get the trash bins in last night.

Oh my! I believe this is my 100th post!

The Endurance Test Begins

This morning my Monkey Man left the house at an ungodly hour to get on a series of planes that will deposit him in China within the next 24 hours. He travels regularly, although not constantly, for work so this is really nothing new. What is new is that he'll be gone for 12 days. 12 days!

Let me be perfectly clear - single parents are my heros. I've only had to pull single parent duty for a few days, maybe a week, at a time, and I am not cut out for that kind of responsibility and work. I've been quite anxious about getting through these next 12 days without going completely insane.

Cuddling in bed last night, Monkey Man tells me he knows I'm anxious about it, but he's not really too worried about me. He tells me I'm a tough broad, that I've made it through worse. This made me laugh. I hadn't thought about it with that sort of perspective, but I have slogged my way through worse situations. Today I seem to have tapped into that reserve of confidence that I often forget I have at my disposal.

Isn't it funny how just the right words, at just the right moment, can completely change your view? So it's not poetry and breakfast in bed, but I'll take it. Of course it is only day 1...

Tummy Tuesday - 30 Weeks

10 weeks to go!
Weight gain: 15 pounds
Tummy girth: 43.5 inches (right at belly button)

This is about the time in my last pregnancy that I started to wonder, "What the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I pretty much feel the same way now too. It's always disconcerting to find yourself halfway down the bungee jump with no where else to go but down and realize you're the only person you can blame for making the leap.

Monkey Man took Quake dove hunting on Saturday morning, his first real hunting experience. Q loved it. I always imagined my true love would be some bookish intellectual type who would read me poetry after serving me breakfast in bed. Life is strange.