Monday, July 18, 2011

T Minus 1 Week

I woke up this morning composing yet another blog post about all my anxiety and how I'm not getting anything done, with a little oh-my-gods-I-can't-believe-I'm-seriously-leaving-Tucson-in-one-week drama. But then Megan Matthieson read my mind (again) with this amazing blog post, and I felt myself letting go.

This entire move is a turn in a new direction for me, and I am terrified. As usual I seem to believe that if I can control things, I can conquer my fears. Or at least lessen their impact. But it's never worked before, and I seriously doubt it will work now. And not just because my track record of actually being in control is, well...non-existent?

I am so afraid of forgetting things, losings things. As if there were some magical way for me to avoid it. Maybe what I'm really afraid of is losing myself, the one thing I always carry with me. The irony is that once upon a time I wanted to move because I wanted desperately to forget myself. So do I get to claim progress? Because if so... Awesome!

For those interested in actually move details -

Monkey Man is seeing a ton of properties this week, any of which I would be very happy with. If the moving company verifies today that they can take our Saturn on move day, we will be renting an RV for the trip, reinterpreting 'move' to mean 'time for a family vacation'. I am super excited about this possibility, proving once again that I have no common sense. And that I'm a complete dork.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

T Minus 3 Weeks

A little math for the day after the holiday:

If degree of denial (D) is proportional to level of freaked-out-ness (F), and D can be extrapolated from the total number of sudoku games completed (Su), then the value of F is?

DEFCON 4, baby!

On the upside, I get to claim that I got lots of things done that weren't even on my to-do list. On the downside, even I can't find a way to make sudoku relevant to our move. And of course there's the problem of not getting stuff for the actual move done. Everyone is soooo demanding!

I do keep recalculating one bit of math in my head day after day - high temperature of the day in Tucson minus the high temperature of the day in Portland? A blissful 30 degrees...