Saturday, May 12, 2007

Yearning for a Do-Over

I'm having one of those moments. I'm suddenly slammed by feeling that I could really do things better if I could just do it all again. Of course the older I get the less I'd be willing to change everything in my life - I could not give up my friends or my husband or my child. But what about some of those other things that just have not turned out as well as they could have?

It would have been nice if I'd managed to get a better education. You know, not skipping the majority of my classes, pushing myself to take classes that scared the crap out of me, getting help when I needed it. And then maybe I could have parlayed that into an actual career!

Staying home has been great, but I think that's mostly because I have no idea what I'd be doing otherwise. Most of the jobs I think would be wonderful require not only training that I don't have but also a certain level of talent that I don't have. And even if I did manage to get the training and miraculously discover the talent, we all know I'd find myself bored and looking for the next big thing within a year.

I'm so jealous of people who have a passion, whether in vocation or avocation. My ultimate life dream is to find that passion for myself, but I'm starting to think, after all these years, that it's never going to happen. Have you found your passion? Are you living it? Or are you feeling a bit lost like me?

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